In highschool, when I discovered Seinfeld, I decided I wanted to be a standup comedian. I wanted to be this guy.
So I worked on a few bits, here and there, it was harder then I thought. When my friends and I started to venture downtown, and go to our cities only comedy club at the time called Yuk Yuk's, I decided I would one day try my stuff out on amateur night.
Throughout highschool, I never really took the classes seriously, but I used them as a laboratory to experiment on people to find out what is funny and what isn't, and just have fun with my days. Of course, this is a generalization, I didn't just do this, I did do well at the end of highschool, enough to get into University, and I did get A's in a couple classes before the last year. But in general I think this is accurate.
But this is not to say that my ultimate goal was to be a comedian, I would have settled for screenwriter or actor. In middle school I had a bit of an affair with comics as I had a friend who could draw and we would team up and make funny little tidbits here and there.
Ok, so the point of this is to reveal to you what I've kept private and recently found, my highschool "comedic bits". Here they are, don't laugh too hard. Either I could only find three, or that's all there were. And yes, they are totally Seinfeldian, I am a mimic.
"What's going on with those yellow and orange jackets people are buying these days? I don't know whether to stop 20 meters in front of them or ____."
Ok, so no punchline in that one, needs some work. Also, kids aren't wearing those jackets anymore. I'd say that was a fad that dyed out. I think those coats are like the jacket Marty wears in Back to the Future. Although, this is written years after the movie obviously.
"Is there a test that movies have to pass?"
So, this one needed some elaboration as well. But I think with some work it could have been funny. I think I've actually heard Jerry use this one though. Maybe my subconscious stole it.
"What's the deal with those twin pokers in geometry sets? Are they for self defence or what? Like they give you a triangle, a compass, a half circle, and a two sided sharp thing to protect yourself if someone tries to steal them?"
This is the best one. The joke is complete and I think it's pretty funny.
So that's it, I hope you enjoyed something I was embarrassed to share for a while!